“Love is not a relationship, love is a commitment… to love. So that if the relationship ends, the love can still remain.”
It is out of much contemplation, time, energy, tears, marathon therapy sessions, stripping down and getting real with our own shit, getting real with each other’s shit, stretching and reaching into all the uncomfortable spaces, sitting in the fire of our feelings and thoughts, our dreams and vulnerabilities, our triggers, and fears, our weakness and strengths, all the while holding space for each other’s journey, that Bill and I have decided to end our relationship as a romantic, married couple, and consciously uncouple. This decision was made some time ago, and now felt like the right time to share it.
That said…we will always be a family, our vows remain true now and forever. We are moving forward as best friends, co-parents, and with our hearts full of love. This relationship has allowed us both so much space to explore, learn, and grow, but most of all expand our capacity to love. I am a better human, and mother because of the last 5 years with Bill, and for that, i will always be grateful.
As we move forward into this chapter, we shed the skin of our old relationship and remain open to the idea that this new relationship could be even more special, significant and meaningful than the one we thought we were originally signing up for. It took that other relationship to get to this one, just as it took both of us for Kylo to be here. Sometimes things don’t make sense at the time, you just have to trust it’s all rigged in your favor and ride the wave.
Someone once told me: We don’t choose who we love, or why, or for how long, or the circumstances for which we are brought together. That is the magic and mystery of the universe. But, we can always choose to love one another. We can choose to rise above the chitter chatter in our minds, the fear, the doubts, and we can update the OS and act from a higher consciousness. We can choose to see things in a positive light. We can be respectful. We can love unconditionally. We can offer kindness. We can forgive. We can make peace. Take the lessons, and let them shower us with gifts of guidance and wisdom. We can choose to start over again, and we can even choose to support each other in that process.
There is no good guy, or bad guy in our scenario. No villain, or victim. Simply put: We just realized we work much better as friends and parents, than husband and wife. Ever since we moved in this direction we have been much closer, happier, peaceful, supportive and loving towards one another, and ultimately, all of that energy benefits our son, Kylo. We have so much to be grateful for, and we are choosing to focus on what we do have in this very moment, rather than what was or could have been. My life has been filled with so much love, so much joy & happiness because of my boys, so rather than mourn the end of something, i would rather celebrate all that we have created and experienced.
Thank you for allowing me the space to share all of this. I have been waiting for the right time and that time feels like now. It feels almost stupid to share this, given the state of the world right now. But maybe somewhere, someone will read this and feel a little less alone, a little less scared, or a bit more brave to speak up for what their heart is telling them. I know this news might come as a shock to most of you, but I can assure you, we have been working through this for quite some time with lots of support surrounding us.
All love. Always.